I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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