well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
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