He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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