I smell stomach acid.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
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