On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Randomize
