idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
