you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
