i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
Randomize
