I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Randomize
