Do vagina's smell?
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
i dont even know how to be here
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
