Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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