Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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