i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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