She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
