i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
