Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
