I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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