Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Randomize
