I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
