Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
