she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
