how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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