I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
MIDGETS
????
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Randomize
