Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Randomize
