you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
