She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
