We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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