fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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