he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I think my moral compass just broke
Randomize
