And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
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