Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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