It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize
