Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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