why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
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