Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
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