i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
