one two three fourrrrnication!
That's when you crack a 10am beer
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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