Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
