did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
