"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
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