i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I think I sprained my soul last night
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
