We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
