i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
