I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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