my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
