The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
