Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
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