he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
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