There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
