you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
