No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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