Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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