an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
So much Jack, so little girl.
Randomize
