so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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