Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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