That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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