OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Randomize
