i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize